The space between

It's hard enough to wrap our minds and hearts around our significant others without projections and seeing through our disillusioned visions of them. Talking to him/her still sometimes skirts the subject, or object of our affections, and some things are lost in translation. But what goes on in the space between is the opportunity for a connection that is beyond words, if we give that space the room it needs to flourish.

I read a great article today on the inherent laziness in busy-ness by Dr. Reggie Ray, Buddhist scholar, teacher and practitioner. I most liked his comments in regards to what his wife won't put up with and how she demands his presence:

"My ambition to accomplish things is going to be one of the last things to go. I can’t help it; it’s just the way that I am. I see a pile of leaves that need to be raked up and I start salivating. I love to do things. I love to be active. And you can say, “Well, that’s great.” But there’s neurosis in that. It’s a way of shutting out space. This is another thing my wife has taught me: when there’s no space nothing really happens.

"I had a wonderful quotation by Chögyam Trungpa up on my wall during my [meditation] retreat. It goes something like, “If there isn’t a complete sense of openness and space, then communication between two people can not happen. Period. It’s that simple.” The communication we have with each other is often based on agendas: negotiating with other people to get what we want. That’s not communication.

"My wife taught me that. Insistently. It’s to the point where that busy mind is just not acceptable in our house anymore. It doesn’t matter what’s going on my life. If she comes into my study, I have to be completely there. And that’s fabulous, because I’m never able to get invested in that neurosis. If I do, she’ll let me have it.

"Giving up this state of busy-ness doesn’t mean that we aren’t going to be active, creative people. We’re giving up the mentality where you can’t actually relate to what’s in front of you because you have this mental speed going on. Let it go. I’m saying it to you. This is an issue that we are going to have to address if we want to be any good to anyone."

Read the rest of the article at elephantjournal.com