Monday, February 22, 2010

When you feel it, you know

You know those decisions that seem to pit head vs. heart?

Those ones that start making pro and con lists that go on forever, and so on, ad infinitum? The ones that fixate and mull over the same crux over and over, ad nauseum? The ones that make for really creative answers to your own questionings - and you ramble these same arguments over and over and over to your friends who are sick of the same debate monologue that never creates any action to end all debates?

For example, it might start with an iteration of red flags or other issues, followed by some curious contradictions, and then excuses as to why to ignore all of the above some more: "I just want to be with someone I don't have to emotionally step around. Someone I can be myself with. He still doesn't get me (after all these years). He does this [ insert really awful / hurtful / unhealthy relationship thing here]. He wants me to be someone I'm not. I cry all the time. I'm not getting any younger. But we've made it this far, and there are glimmers of the goodness of what we can be and we must have stuck it out this long for a reason..." ("Tears, really?" you respond as the big-eared friend. "How is that a good thing, again...?")

That nagging battle of rationale and sinking gut instinct leads to pure exhaustion and mind-bottling pressure on the body. Ignoring those inner nudges from another part of your complex nervous system just snuffs your flame - until you can barely recognize yourself.

It's worth reiterating (over and over and over (and over and over and over again)) that in matters of Head vs. Heart - the heart deserves ample air time. Turn it on and tune in to see how it feels. (You'll know.) (You already do.)

As Danielle LaPorte asserts: it's hella rad to say "It just doesn't feel right." And know that is more than enough. (She then enumerates the "Corrosive effects of over-justifying your feelings," which are well worth the tattoo-worthy reminder of how silly all these trains of thoughts are...) Why sell yourself on your own shitty reasons for sticking with something that your heart and soul is just not all up into?

Ah, and this has a flip side, of course, in regards to the good things that flow seamlessly and oh so easily... those things that make you say "yes, yes, oh - yes yes yes" instantaneously and forever.
(Why talk yourself out of it when the heart rings so true?)

Consider this White-(and-feels-so-right-all-over-your-hot-body)-Truth:

"If something felt right, I’d drive all night in a push-up bra to get there. When it really feels right, you go out of your way. When something feels right, you put inconveniences in their place."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"the map is not territory." JZ Smith. See Also, Feist: "A map is more unreal than where you've been or how you feel."