Sunday, July 12, 2009


As social beings with a highly developed nervous system, being in relation with others poses so many challenges. At once you are simultaneously a semi-enclosed biological system driven by chemical reactions that can't compete with rational concepts - AND a thinking "I" falsely assured of your independence, denying the Darwinian principle apparent in every interaction - that is the pursuit to share your genes.

Being in a culture befuddled with a seriously confused cultural concept of love, it's hard to keep your wits about you if you're letting yourself be charmed and wooed by a potential suitor. Therefore it's imperative to process your gut feelings, your emotions, the facts, your projections and perceptions, etc., before getting caught up in the rush of it all and losing your bearings.

This is the process of Manalyzing, with the precept that it's good to train so that you're ready to run when you need to.

Manalyzing is a circular exercise of discussion that helps process the information streaming in from all the channels of the human experience -- all the many ways of knowing -- so as to work through the crossed lines of confusion to a grounded place of understanding what's going on.

Often, there are mixed signals to untangle. Before you waste beautiful bouquets on the 'he loves me/loves me not' riddle, start noting the signals you're getting: "He does [this] which makes me think he likes me, but then he does [this] which says the opposite? WTF?"

Pay close attention to your intuition, how you physically react in said dude's presence, and go with your gut if you sense any overt incongruities -- which are blatant red flags. (Red flags, no matter how flippant at first glance, should not be ignored - especially if they start flying at full mast within the first 3 months of a relationship.)

While you're tuning in to the situation, listen to your self as you try to sort it out. Are you making excuses for him already? If you answered yes to this question, please cross reference your man list. It's around 100 points for a reason: it details what you want, not the unclear loser that you don't need.

Is he matching any of the points on the man-list? Is he missing the boat? Is he really that hot that all the red flags don't matter? (The answer is 'No', btw.) [Just a reminder that the red flags are a warning of the clear and present danger to the precious, beautiful you that deserves to not have to worry about how to protect yourself in the midst of all this trouble / impending plague of doom.]

It helps to manalyze with a good friend who can help you see clearly, even when you're feeling muddled. Even if there's an attraction, the dude must clear the list itemizing the articles provided herein.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

(*note to self: no matter how dashing Orlando Bloom is, he's Unavailable (capital U) and has a motorcycle.)