Friday, August 15, 2008

Another day at the office

Written by Nicole Musmanno

“Marriage is hard. Seriously.” This is what people say.


I missed that part between the Disney movies and the English gardens. Know it now. Missed it then.

My father actually once sat across from then boyfriend, now husband, not even engaged at time, and over breakfast informed us that, “The hardest job I have is not the one I go to every day, but the one I come home to every night.”

What is less mentioned is that marriage becomes comfortable. One or both becomes comfortable and if not comfortable then one or both becomes aloof. There is schedule to marriage. And if that schedule is followed then marriage is not really that hard. It is a routine.

The trouble only occurs when someone in the marriage suddenly decides they do not like the schedule anymore. They want to eat dinner 6 instead of 5. They want to have sex in the living room not the master bedroom. They want to be naked outside of the shower. All this bucks the schedule.

Then what?

Marriage becomes hard. Marriage becomes work because someone decides that the schedule no longer works for them. Then the question arises, do you still want the job? Once you see the job description has changed, do you want the job? Do you want to work with the same person, the same pay with no certainty of bonuses? Is the work load worth it?

The best part is it could have all been avoided if both involved had listened in advance and realized that marriage is a hard job. A job that left unattended, with paper piling up on the desk, might one day need two people to take on the back flow. Or, left unattended or only partially cared for, the lights will go out in the office and the job terminated. Done.

No wonder English gardens and Disney exist: for those of us who cannot face the work load and need to escape even if just for the fantasy of a different job.

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