Sunday, July 6, 2008

Contractual agreements & marital bliss: an excerpt from the wedding diaries

I went to the Shakespeare Festival with a well-traveled friend who posed this question: "Why don't we re-envision marriage as a 5 year contractual period, with the choice to renew or not?"

I had to agree whole-heartedly. I hear about/see too often the relationship that doesn't work, looses zest, and is loosely bonded together by ideals and fear, at which point both spirits have most likely suffered something awful by not honoring themselves and their soul's duty. While there may be a light that never goes out, some spirits dim when their fierce light is hindered or sacrificed.

In which case, the 5-year up-for-renewal-plan is a new take on old bondage. Which makes perfect sense to me on the logical & rational levels. It made me at ease with the process -- since I wrote my cutesy (and honest) vow-poem and there was no "forever clause" in my marital preamble (and of course I added the 'Pete Yorn Clause' which stated that if I was ever alone with the man, I was allowed to make out with him). Best of all, the K-ster was in agreement of this penti-annual re-avowal cycle, and said: "I thought that's what we'd do every year...?" I just smiled as a resounding "yessss" echoed through me.

But I can't say that I was overly detached through the whole thing (was I?). As Ghandi said: "If you want something really important to be done you must not merely satisfy the reason, you must move the heart also." So, I must have felt semi-romantical about it...right?

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