"Mind-bottling. Like your mind is trapped in a bottle." - Chazz Michael Michaels
Her emotional pendulum swung from apex to apex. She was torn between moments on both ends of the spectrum, but she sat in the middle and watched the back and forth, the intense ebb and flow. Torn between scenes of comfort and warmth that make forever seem more than possible, that make denying what they have together an incongruous point of departure, a silly incredulous thought (they would look at each other and feel it, the excitement, and the desire to always be in each other's life....), and between feelings and situations that turn the question fountain on full blast, swimming around her head at no moments notice. Scenes that she could imagine happening with near visual clarity as if it's a memory waiting to happen...
She would look at the ring on her finger. It was always a little to big. She would slide it off, look at it and then to him.
She would catch his eye and say: "Why don't you take this."
He would look at it, puzzled and unsuspecting.
"You can use it to buy something you'll enjoy." she would say resolutely.
The music airing in the background provided sentiments for both emo-polarities. One song riffs how 'they won't sleep better alone / no they won't feel better alone' and the next how it was 'easier when we were younger / we could put it back together / it was there if you ever wanted it / but you closed the door / and said good bye for good' and then back to 'someday I'll look into her green eyes / and know that she'll come with me.' And that's only one CD....
There were plenty more songs and lyrics floating around in rotation that would match any current mood and sea change. She wanted to wait out the storms for better clarity, knowing full well that there are no answers in the game of life, but there had to be ways to relax the pressure and the need for a hasty decision.
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