Avowel: an excerpt from the wedding diaries

I have the David Gray song, Tidal Wave in my head. It's a rhythmic, delicate and fluttering tune. And it's short, which makes it perfect for an all eyes are on you wedding dance song that might be in my future unless I can be a peaceful warrior and passively resist the first dance ritual.

After my last session with the wonderful and clarifying therapist, I started waxing poetic on what happens in reality and new-agey philosophy when two souls join togetha under the law. Pearls of thought involving words like 'growth' and 'reverence' and 'honor' (which can be challenging nuggets to cultivate and embody) came up.

Perhaps not enough wax on the lovey-dovey poetry lately, but I'm thinking of real metaphors for vowage, since my passive resistance towards more traditional views inclusive of ceremony are clearly at great odds and simply not working. I'm afraid that my iconoclast nature will have to surrender to the ways of tradition, unless I can harness my inner bridezilla, and though I'm not quite sure where she's at, I'm pretty certain she's an iconoclast too. As resistant as I am to ceremonial hoopla, I read a passage or two in TRUCK: A Love Story that eased my mind. If Michael Perry can get hitched the ol' fashion way, maybe I can too...?

"But he needs it for the sake of meaning," I said to my therapist while debating ceremonial pros and cons.

"Ohh," she said. "Then you're going to have to do it... You can do it. Keep it small."

And that subtle invocation made me feel better, as if I could do it all with grace and clarity. And, really, that's the most I could hope for at any given moment.

Later, in a moment of afflatus this vow / poem came to me. It encapsulated all that I could do, and between the lines was an utterance of 'I expect this in return...':

now, avowel

oh k my k
my succulent strawberry, my mirror, my rock
i pray thee, giveth me
a love that is true and honest and brave
and thusly shall I return such love with a love at once raw and unruffled,
expansive and radiant
that will defy love with constant renewal
through the effervescent changing tides, cycles,
and dirty laundry
as we adventure together