Saturday, January 17, 2009

Decree

On her morning hike, the images from her dream came to her as a series of vivid snapshots and stills and selected audio scripts.

She was getting married again. This time it was a big to-do. It was outside, in a little back yard area. White chairs and all. Flowers and garlands and corsages. He was in a tuxedo and looked dashing surrounded by his well groomed men. It was the same him. The family and strangers were bustling and buzzing in the stereotypical family craziness that weddings produce. She was watching this all as an omnipresent observer, knowing from her half awakened state that she had been through this before with less pomp and circumstance, yet also as the leading lady in the dreamscape. It was a dual role that only made sense in dream-time. The bustling surrounded her as she watched, and the women of the party introduced her to her petal pink wedding dress that coordinated with his vest and tie. They dressed her up, zipped her up, like the animals that had adorned Cinderella in the movie. She looked at the dress, at the people, at him, at the scene and stood up. The traditional scene was ready for her. It was her turn. She commanded their attention from the hill she was to walk down. Her voice turning their heads to her, silenced.

"I can't do this," she said. She looked at the people watching her. "I love you," she said to them. "I love him," she said to them as she looked at her Him. "But I can't do this. I did this once, and it wasn't right. I knew it wasn't right. I can't do this again. I don't want to be married now." She didn't even apologise - no I'm sorry was uttered. She looked down at the dress she was in, at the flowers in her hand all bound with ribbon. She turned and tossed them out to the sea of amazed faces, and didn't look back.

This all floated back into her memory as she rounded the corner to her condo. She started thinking about how that dream compared with the one she had the night before. But she stopped to get the mail and noticed the decree to the dissolution of her marriage in an envelope waiting for her.

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